It would certainly be the critical time the band ever performed. That night, castle boarded a plane for their next gig. On the plane, they to be told the their contract had actually been cancelled.

You are watching: Just when you thought it was over

Kate and also Bob ultimately got divorced, but remained friends—bitter, bitterness friends.

Peter Piper died a pauper.

At Attila’s funeral, among the optimal Hun generals remarked, “Without Attila, we would have actually been nothing more than a bunch of savage barbarians.”

After the substantial asteroid let go Earth, anyone was happy, except for Clem Drexel, who lost a bet.

After Angelo Carcinelli to be executed, that was established that not only was the innocent; he was in reality the electric-chair repairman.


Doc Rogen was laughed out of town, climate laughed earlier into town.

Following the mutiny, a naval plank of inquiry to be convened, to determine whether the captain had gone to fault. The board chairman to be an arrogant, devilish man, do the others work long hours without breaks, and also referred to them together “bloody swine.” He even flogged one plank member. The chairman to be then overtaken and collection adrift in a rowboat, to the taunts and also jeers the the other board members.

After Ted Longmire failed to do the transition from drama to comedy, he threw himself in prior of a steamroller.

Old Pete never did uncover the shed Dutchman Mine, but he did find his burro, which had been hiding from him.


After retiring indigenous boxing, Tim O’Shannon opened a document mill, where he to be accidentally beaten come a pulp.

Christopher Columbus died without ever realizing the he had uncovered the brand-new World, or the he was Italian.


A year later, Jeremy Larkin was hit ~ above the head by one more coconut, yet this one didn’t change him as lot as the very first coconut.

After their defeat by the mutants, the skeleton military fell apart.


Following Abraham Lincoln’s death, two tickets were uncovered in his pockets: one because that the delivery Titanic and also another because that the airship Hindenburg.

Professor Higginbotham thrived rich indigenous his invention, the moving wall surface of spikes. Yet he was eliminated when the tripped and also fell on a porcupine.

When the Pope and the antipope finally met, it led to a large explosion.

In addition to her various other awards, Marie Curie won the top Halloween compensation for her glowing skeleton costume.

After his death, the Greek philosopher who created irony to be mistakenly attributed with inventing slapstick.

Despite the harsh reviews, “The guy with the an enig Weapon Who also Had a Spare an enig Weapon” ended up being a box-office hit.

Within fifty year of your signing, fifty-four the the fifty-six signers that the explanation of independence were dead, fulfilling what is well-known as the Curse of the Declaration.

After the war, mustard gas to be banned, and for two years so to be mustard.


Despite the sermons and the rehabilitation course, the pirates never shed their desire because that treasure.

Although the Wolf male was killed, scientists say that almost three in 5 humans bring the werewolf gene.

See more: How Many Months Is 150 Days In Months? 150 Days To Months

The skunks ultimately returned . . . And also they to be mad. ♦

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Published in the publish edition that the December 20, 2021, issue, with the headline “Epilogue.”
Jack Handey has added to The brand-new Yorker because 1987. He has actually written several humor books, including, many recently, “Untrue stories of Fiction.”
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